children, parents, and edification

Well my three year old son told me he didn't like me today. I have heard this from my older daughter as well but she was much older and I justified it because of her background. My little girl was in and out of foster care for six years and it was a long battle to adopt her so a lot of her behavior is still categorized as "undefined" or "unexplained". We don't know whether or not something is normal behavior for girls her age or if it is unique to her in her struggle. Also, how much are we overthinking it and how much thought should we give?
All of these fun questions of parenting left unanswered, and really left in God's hands through hours of prayer, as we experiment one day at a time.

But now, my son, three years old, decided to verbalize that he did not like me as his mother. Verbatim.

Of course, the logical, intelligent woman inside of me knows that this probably means I'm being a good parent. My son, being oh so ready for sleep, fought me on his afternoon nap. When he didn't want to obey and was disciplined, he decided to start yelling hurtful words.

But being completely honest, a little big part of my heart broke.
I never thought parenting would be so difficult in trying to actually parent my children. I thought they would appreciate that I am here for them, raising them with both parents involved in their life leading by example.

Everything in the world is encouraging parents to become friends with their children. And yes, this may come later as they are adults, but there should always be a boundary between parent and child so that each role can live out its purpose. Maybe with all the brokenness in families comes the added pressure to make your child happy thus leading to a hazy line of the parent-child boundary.

I will say that my little boy quickly took it back as I showed him that it hurt my feelings. It's good for him to learn that words have power and once said they can't ever be edited.

It all reminds me how much God wants a closeness with us in the same way we have with our children. Even closer, because let's face it, I am not God nor will I ever have or want such intimate knowledge about my children. I'm just not mature enough to be God on multiple accounts.
However, when we have our little lives disciplined in a way we think unfair, how quick we are to say we don't like the God in charge.

I'm just so thankful for the forgiveness for all the words I don't remember I've said and grace for those I do. And I'm also thankful for little toddler arms that hug me and tell me that I'm the best mommy in the world...that he loves me very much. I bet that's exactly how God feels when we obey.