to those of you struggling to find yourselves

(Source)

Colossians 3:1-3

Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on the things that are on the earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.

Through different seasons of life we can tend to be so busy we lose ourselves. We're so dedicated in serving our Lord, church, family, and community that we don't stop to take time for perspective. I've seen and heard that many woman after years of doing this end up really struggling to remember who they are or who they were before they got SO busy. It makes me ask, taking away the duties you have for being the woman involved in ministry, the wife your husband needs and the mother your young children need, what do you have left that's just yours & the Lord's? What do you do to maintain YOU and who YOU are in Christ?

Laying aside all of the busyness, who are you?

Many women serve the Lord through work, taking care of their families, serving the church, etc. but there's much more to being a woman of God than just being busy, getting married and having children. And what I've seen (and experienced) is that women who get so busy serving, who don't make alone time for their relationship with the Lord, start to struggle with finding their identity. Finding their life. They're almost too focused on their works.

All of the sudden, your life doesn't make you feel alive. And after some time of struggling with this, in come the emotional and mental issues. And in comes the world with all kinds of false ideas on how you can "find yourself".

There may be several of you struggling with anxiety, depression, anger, or maybe even crankiness about this very issue. And maybe some of you don’t struggle with these dark emotions, but you know what it means to be in a dark season of life. A season that seems far too long. A season where you seem stuck.

If you’re reading this, you either have a relationship where Jesus is your Lord and Savior or you’re reading because He wants to have one with you. We don’t believe in coincidences so we know that God is constantly at work in planning all the details of our life. He's planned for you to be reading this because He has something He wants to say to you.

And the Lord doesn’t just want a relationship with us. He wants a GREAT relationship with us. Filled with understanding, hope, grace, forgiveness and love (read those one more time slowly). Now some of you may know Him, but do you love Him? Do you have a great relationship with the Lord? Is He your friend? Is He your family? Is He your counselor, your comfort?

Some of you might have been raised up with Christ and some of you are being raised up right now. Either way, the struggle of remembering yourself and who you are is real. And these verses give all the answers we need in order to find our true life, a life with passion and purpose.

Seeking the Lord

We’re going to talk more about this scripture in Colossians in a minute but I want you to think about the last time you spent time with the Lord. Maybe it was this morning, last night, sometime this week, maybe it’s been a few weeks or maybe it’s been so long that you honestly can’t remember. 

There’s a precious thing that happens when we spend real time with Him. I mean the raw, honest, stripped down time with the Lord.

I don’t mean the "check-in”. Those of you who have teenagers know what this is, when your phone rings right at curfew allowing your child to say I’m what? Just calling to check-in.

This is a quick conversation with the important information. Bullet points almost, but not a deep connection and it’s almost as if your child has a timer and is trying to get off the phone with you as quickly as possible. 

This is when we check-in with God. We wait to talk to Him until we absolutely can’t put it off any longer. We don’t talk about what’s really going on. We just go over the bullet points and check it off our to-do list so we don’t get grounded.

And then there’s the "Hi-bye” conversation. Which in prayer-lingo is “Please-Amen”. Please help me with this, in Jesus name Amen. This is very elementary and doesn’t really reflect either person in the conversation. Who you are or who God is. You pray routinely but it’s so routine that you have forgotten how precious it is.

And lastly, my favorite, there’s the “Head-nod”, where you kind of acknowledge someone but don’t really care enough to stop what you’re doing and give them your full attention. You’re busy, you’re distracted, but you make time for the Lord every Sunday and when it’s convenient in your busy life.

...I know, ouch...

Your relationship with the Lord is as deep as you want it to be. If you want to speak with Him, He’s waiting. If you say you want to know Him more, the only real excuse you have for not knowing Him is laziness.

And it’s not about how many times you talk to the Lord or how much time you spend reading the Bible, or even if you only listen to Christian music. Having a close and intimate relationship with the Lord only happens if you’re open and honest with Him. If you surrender each day to Him and His will. And that is not easy. Especially in those seasons where we are struggling.

However, when we struggle with depression, anxiety, being overwhelmed, or we just don't know what to do with ourselves, He knows what we’re going through. He knows the desire of our hearts. The desire for peace, joy, health, love, and unity. He knows how much we care and He cares more. So, the first way to refocus our minds and hearts when needed, is to go spend time seeking the things above where our Lord is who knows our minds and hearts much better than we do.

Some of you might hesitate to be open and honest with God because you might be angry with Him. Confused by what’s happening in your life. A little lost as to what God is doing. But honesty helps you approach Him with your cares. And communicating with Him gives you comfort and strength in ways you can’t imagine. 

Whatever struggle or season of difficulty you might be in or come to, spending time with the Lord will give your soul peace. And your soul guides your heart, mind, and emotions; it guides everything.

Don't think you're alone in your negative emotions. Abraham, Moses, David, and even Jesus grieved about different aspects of their seasons. They didn't faithfully carry out God's calling like emotionless robots. There were many times Moses was frustrated and spoke with God boldly. Abraham surely didn't skip up the mountain while singing to sacrifice his son Isaac. And even Jesus wept, cried out to God, and got so angry he threw some tables around about the sin of man.
Emotions are designed to set us apart in creation. When harnessed, they help us understand the Lord better. He grieves with us. He gets angry, frustrated, and sad.
Now, I'm not saying that your emotions should stand in the way of you doing what's right. And I'm also not justifying you throwing the table across the room when your children don't use their manners for the millionth time.
But with your strong emotions, walk in His path. This life is difficult, God knows. He expects us to have emotion and He knows our deepest desires, however grief is not an excuse to disobey.
This is why we have these illustrations in scripture, to help us understand how God works and how we can obey even when our heart might be torn. Our obedience is out of faith in His plan and love for Him.

Whether it’s in prayer, listening to worship music, sipping your coffee and meditating on His Word, or just being quiet and waiting on Him, what happens when we spend real time with Him is surrendering. We surrender our moment. Our thoughts. Our words. We surrender our difficulties. We surrender our life. This is what scripture tells us He wants from us and the precious blessing of spending this time with Him is that we walk away refreshed, having peace in our souls and hope for our lives. 

Setting Our Mind

Another way to refocus during a season of difficulty, where you might be a little lost, is to distract yourself in a healthy way. With my kids, whenever they get hurt, the more we talk about it the more it hurts. So, what do we moms do? We distract! Sometimes it’s with a compliment for our big, strong toddler who’s bleeding from their limb. Or sometimes it’s a hug or kiss and then a change in conversation. 

We do this to ourselves as well. A problem gets bigger and bigger the more we focus on it and talk about it. Now, some issues we struggle with in life NEED to be talked about BEFORE we move on. It is a healthy part of grief to process what’s happening, however, sometimes we can make more of an issue than what’s actually there. We can do this as parents, when we worry about our child after they fail one exam and we think they just threw away their future. Or we can do this as wives when we won’t let an issue go (an issue that really should be let go) and just keep bringing it up over and over again. 

The truth is, healthy distraction can be a tremendous blessing. Some of you might be passionate about health or the human body, preparing or cooking food, sewing or crafts, music or art, business or finances, sports or the outdoors, etc. It’s important to have something in your life that is yours. Something about you that brings you to life. Now some of you might be thinking, wow! Do I even have a passion? What IS my passion? YES, you do.

You were uniquely designed for A PURPOSE, LADIES! You can add something to this world that no one else can. AND God gave you your unique abilities to add to His Kingdom. Setting our minds on things above, not on things on the earth means we have a choice. Our passion can be used for His kingdom or for our own earthly goals.

Now, what I mean by that is this: I like to describe myself as having a “passionate personality", which really just means I’m loud and opinionated. However, I have learned that God made me this way because He has something to teach through me. He has something to share through my being loud. And that if I'm not humble and prayerful, I can create my own happy, little disaster. And by happy, I mean awful. And by little, I mean catastrophic. 

I used to talk negatively about my “passionate” self, saying how it used to get me into trouble... because IT DID. It hurt a lot of relationships and eventually I learned to HIDE my true self. No, no, no. I was going about it the wrong way. What I needed to do was dedicate who I am, passions and all, to His purpose and goals and not my own. 

He gives so many opportunities for you to use your passions for His glory. You just have to dedicate them to Him and ask for an opportunity.

A passion is something you think about, work hard for, and make time to do because it's important to you. Some of you might be thinking of a few passions you have and some of you might be searching. It might be connected to your job or might be completely separate. You will often find yourself doing it when you are stressed or have some down time. An idea of how to find your passion is to ask yourself what do I get excited about? What do I think about a lot? What do I talk about most often? What brings out my emotions? 

I got involved in music ministry because of how it moved me. I started writing and journaling when I was young because I had so many thoughts about life and how to live. Respond to your soul and find your passion. If you like to cook, cook a meal for your neighbor and surprise them! If you love to sew, bless someone with a project of love. If you enjoy sports, get involved in your community athletic team! These are all opportunities to meet people, share the love of Christ, and enjoy yourself! This is for you.

And just a quick note, every woman is passionate about her husband and/or children (or at least she should be), but these are your ministries ordained by God. Your passions are your choice and can change with different seasons of your life. My point is that your passions in your life should not be other people, they should be about other people but for you. They are parts of your identity that you choose. God might lead you in a direction, but He doesn't always tell you how to travel.

Whatever you end up choosing or are already involved in, remember that we have a divine duty of sharing the truth about Jesus Christ. Our passions are part of our identity but ultimately should point to Christ. Our passions should be about serving God and serving others. Whatever unique gifts God has given you can be used for His Kingdom. And should be.

Finding Our Life

For you have died, and your life is hidden in Christ. The more you’re in the Word spending time with Him and focusing your thoughts on Him the more you find yourself. And on the flip side of that, the more you focus on yourself and earthly things, the more you’re focused on temporary things that all pass away. They all die.

Now, I want you to think about this for a minute.

The world will tell us that a full, awesome, amazing life is driven by feelings. You can do whatever you want or need to in order to be happy. That our struggle is an excuse to behave in whatever way we feel. And all our stress’ can be covered with food, drinking, television, travel, or girlfriends. 

But the Bible says, the more we look to Him, the more we take our struggle and turn it back into prayer, resting in Him and His plan, focusing on His qualities and who He is, and putting our effort and energy into His Kingdom that’s when we find our true life. We find ourselves. 

I want to tell you ladies, this is God investing in you. You’re here and He’s here. Our life is not found in our feelings. It is not found in a diagnosis or in seeking happiness. Our real, true, passion-filled life is found in Christ. It’s hidden there, and the only way to find it is to seek Him. 

Now, I have looked to earthly things and I have been lazy in my relationship with the Lord...I know, shocker. The solution to this is repentance and grace. I needed to repent of my sin in having the wrong focus and not making time for my Lord. 

And then after repenting, I needed to receive the grace He had for me. To forgive myself and let that bad behavior or habit go. To recognize that I have a new life, a real life. And then focus my life on worshipping Him.

Questions for Reflection:

Seeking Him

How do you spend time with the Lord? Is there anything in your life holding you back from having a close relationship with the Lord?

Setting Our Minds

What are you most passionate about? How can you use your passion for serving the Lord and serving others?

Finding Our Life

Do you look to Him when feeling lost, confused, or overwhelmed or do you seek earthly things? Do you really know and love the Lord or is your sin holding you back from loving Him?

look at the birds & flowers

(Source)

This morning, looking out the window, I was reminded of the dreariness of anxiety by the rainy morning we've had. Looking out, everything is heavy and wet. Cold and still. Quiet.

And then a little bird landed by my window. Gathering up it's breakfast with no regard for me or my house. Just working away, hopping here and there, gathering the food that's been provided.

We've all experienced anxiety on some level. It might not be a deep struggle for you, anxiety or worry can grip you even in small ways. Whatever you worry about; your husband, marriage, children, parents, siblings, work, bills, house, car, homework, or even your garden. We all have areas in life that test our faith.
Anxiety and worry happen when we have little faith (if any at all) in whatever area is weighing us down.

Ouch.

Now, everyone has concern or the desire to be responsible or problem solve. But that is not what I mean. You should think about your family, bills, work, etc. However, when the concern becomes questioning or doubting that the outcome will be okay, when your concern turns to worry...it becomes sin because God wants us to have faith and not worry.

Instead of "being concerned" you should be praying. That concern or thought is a seed planted by the Lord urging and reminding you to pray.
When you don't pray, your concerns take over your thought life and worry takes over your soul.

I always think of this scripture when I see birds and flowers. And it really helps calm my soul of whatever worry I might be struggling with at the moment.
We are commanded to look and observe not worry and question. We are commanded to seek His kingdom and righteousness above our life.
Don't be worried about your life. Seek Him.

The Cure for Anxiety

25 “For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? 27 And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? 28 And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, 29 yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! 31 Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ 32 For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

34 “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.