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he loves me, he loves me NOT, he loves me, he loves me NOT...
Always hoping and praying that whoever we were wanting to love us, would really end up loving us according to the "daisy-gods-of-the-universe".
And at times, he would really indeed love me for the rest of my life and we would live happily ever after loving each other and skipping together while holding hands.
And other times, he would love me NOT, and it would be the worst half-second of my life before I picked another daisy.
Remember this? I know you do.
Well, something got me the other day...it grabbed my attention out of nowhere as I was admiring the wildflowers in my yard.
Why do we play this game? What are we really longing for?
If you're a kid from the nineties, you remember the other love-determining games such as MASHO, True Love, etc. You remember folding that piece of paper and writing different outcomes on the inside to determine who you and your best friend were going to marry, where you were going to live, and possibly how many children you might have.
Of course, these games were part of my experience growing up because I was in public school which is basically all about dating. (Go ahead, disagree with me, but you're wrong) Whether it was in the hallways, on the bus, or at lunch, girls were always daydreaming about their forever-after.
Well, now I have my forever-after. I married my prince. Was rescued from the dungeon. Helped slay the dragon (because any cool chick would help with that nonsense). I mean, my whole romantic story has been introduced. I still have many romantic adventures waiting for me (and my husband) in the next several chapters of life, but I don't have to daydream the who anymore.
It occurred to me, however, that my husband doesn't romance me all day everyday...what?! I know, crazy. His love, even on the best day, doesn't quite fulfill all my romantic desire for understanding and intimacy.
Even in marriage, I find myself longing for connection at times. Who am I really longing for? And what type of connection?
Maybe you're married and can identify with this. Or maybe you're single and still longing for the who. Either way, no matter where you are in your story, you have a longing for romance.
So, there I was, admiring wildflowers and BAM...like a 2X4 across the face, it hit me.
I was longing for Jesus.
Not only did I want a Prince and Savior, but I wanted a man to love and understand my heart without me having to explain. A man that looked at me with admiration and respect, who knew my capabilities and thought I was wonderful. All the time. A man who looked at me with compassion and forgiveness when I was in the wrong. A man who was not just a man but also... God.
Don't we all want that? We have such high expectations for our husbands, it's really not fair.
Ladies! Don't put your need for romance and the pressure of having a perfect connection on your husbands. This longing is between you and your God. Now, God might use a man to show you love, but He still wants connection with you. Just you and Him.
Your story of romance should begin and end with Jesus Christ. Your husband is only human, and even though he's super cute and amazing at everything, only God can romance you the way you need.
I know some of you are thinking this lady is nuts, what in the world is she talking about, and what does romance have to do with God?
Romance, whether noun or verb, is all about emotion. Whether you are entering into a romance or enjoying being romanced, your desire for love is driving you through it. Romance is the emotion associated with the movement of your heart and soul; being pursued or having excitement about a relationship definitely has to do with your Creator who designed your heart and soul.
It's time to stop daydreaming about your hypothetical future. It's time to stop expecting your man to become a supernatural romantic hero. There's nothing wrong with watching romantic comedies or reading (PG rated) love stories (In fact, I rather enjoy them at times), but they will not fulfill any desire in your heart or soul for romance. They will leave you feeling empty and disappointed because you're putting your hope in the wrong place.
I'm asking that you read this and take time to think about it...
God fashioned me. He took time, thought, effort, and skill in designing my body, soul, and mind for a specific purpose. He knows my hurts, weaknesses, and vulnerabilities. He knows the deep sin I struggle with and shows compassion. He hears the cry in my heart. He feels the pain from my life.
He also knows what it takes to make me laugh. He loves my smile and puts so much in my life for me to enjoy. He loves the color of my hair and eyes and specifically chose them for me. No one has ever admired me the way God does. He sees my strength and all that I can do. He listens to me and wants to hear from me always.
Why did He do all of these things? Why does He feel this way?
Because He loves me. Every petal means He loves me.
With God, the game totally changes. It's not a human love. It's a Godly love.
And it's perfect.
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