What if I lived in a house like that?
What if I made more money?
What if I had better parents?
What if ______ would not have happened to me?
What if I married someone else?
What if I didn't have kids?
What if ______ would have happened?
What if my life could have been ____?
We all have one. Or two.
But we question the deepest parts of our lives...the situations and decisions of the past can haunt people into their present and future. Maybe at first you're content with the decision but you start to wonder later, especially when things get difficult or even unbearable.
What about a situation that happened that you have deemed unfair. A childhood filled with abuse, neglect, drugs, sex (gasp), yeah I said it.
Whatever it is, we all have something we question, how would life be if things were changed just a little?
Just a little tweak. Nothing serious.
And oh how we wish we could have that power.
________________
Today I asked my ten year old daughter if she could describe me in one word, what would it be and why? I know. I'm an idiot.
Ya know, as I asked this question I remembered the devotional that encouraged moms everywhere to do this with their children as a way to better understand how you are coming across to them. But truly, I was wanting to physically grab my words and shove them way back down, deep into me as soon as I asked...but, it was too late. She was thinking...
So then!
I decided to prepare myself. What will she say?
I tried stalling by telling her to think about it for a while and that she can say whatever she wants and I will not be happy or upset by the description just that I want to better understand how she sees me.
And do you want to know what that dear child said?
Brave.
She said, "Brave." With absolute certainty. BRAVE?!
I will encourage all mothers to do this, everywhere. Now, not so much with toddlers, but children over the age of five should have enough experience with the lack of motherly patience, kindness, etc. etc. that they should be able to come up with at least three times you were both naughty and nice. Hah! Three give or take a thousand.
But really, do it! Because it's not the word they choose, but the reason why that God will hug you with.
She said, "You're not afraid to do what's right. You stand up for yourself and other people. I think you're brave because you're not afraid to stand up against people who are drunk all the time. I mean, you took me into your home even though my family still wanted me, and you made sure I would be safe. You're just not afraid of people who drink."
And as she said those words, IT hit me. I'm not afraid. And she was.
And the reason I'm not afraid is because God's promise...
Romans 8:28
"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."
All these visuals came flooding into my mind... I have had many confrontations with drunk people. And I have grown to be very strong in certain situations. And finally, it all comes together. It all makes sense.
My daughter admires me for something I used to wish I could change about myself, I'll write that again...my child loves and admires me for something I used to daydream about changing...
the sovereignty of God is where the "what if" turns into a "thank You, Lord"!
Thank You, God for making me into someone she trusts to take care of her. Thank You for taking all my, "what if's" and using them to help others. Thank You for helping me to see and understand just how big and awesome You are in my life. And thank You that I will keep seeing and understanding more and more as each day passes.
<3
________________
Today I asked my ten year old daughter if she could describe me in one word, what would it be and why? I know. I'm an idiot.
Ya know, as I asked this question I remembered the devotional that encouraged moms everywhere to do this with their children as a way to better understand how you are coming across to them. But truly, I was wanting to physically grab my words and shove them way back down, deep into me as soon as I asked...but, it was too late. She was thinking...
So then!
I decided to prepare myself. What will she say?
I tried stalling by telling her to think about it for a while and that she can say whatever she wants and I will not be happy or upset by the description just that I want to better understand how she sees me.
And do you want to know what that dear child said?
Brave.
She said, "Brave." With absolute certainty. BRAVE?!
I will encourage all mothers to do this, everywhere. Now, not so much with toddlers, but children over the age of five should have enough experience with the lack of motherly patience, kindness, etc. etc. that they should be able to come up with at least three times you were both naughty and nice. Hah! Three give or take a thousand.
But really, do it! Because it's not the word they choose, but the reason why that God will hug you with.
She said, "You're not afraid to do what's right. You stand up for yourself and other people. I think you're brave because you're not afraid to stand up against people who are drunk all the time. I mean, you took me into your home even though my family still wanted me, and you made sure I would be safe. You're just not afraid of people who drink."
And as she said those words, IT hit me. I'm not afraid. And she was.
And the reason I'm not afraid is because God's promise...
Romans 8:28
"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."
All these visuals came flooding into my mind... I have had many confrontations with drunk people. And I have grown to be very strong in certain situations. And finally, it all comes together. It all makes sense.
My daughter admires me for something I used to wish I could change about myself, I'll write that again...my child loves and admires me for something I used to daydream about changing...
the sovereignty of God is where the "what if" turns into a "thank You, Lord"!
Thank You, God for making me into someone she trusts to take care of her. Thank You for taking all my, "what if's" and using them to help others. Thank You for helping me to see and understand just how big and awesome You are in my life. And thank You that I will keep seeing and understanding more and more as each day passes.
<3
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